I

  Time is a strange thing. Years are gone in a blink of an eye. Months and weeks could be over in seconds. And for some, seconds could take a lifetime.

  In the first few lifetimes of Shinji kissing her, her mind was as blank as a piece of paper and she just enjoyed the sensation of his lips on hers. His closeness, his taste and his breath (which was not at all tickling her). A warmth was spreading inside her and made her dizzy. It felt like the time as Shinji had held her broken body in the bathroom, just ten times stronger. Her eyes closed and she even let her hand slowly wandering towards his face. It was extremely nice and she would have stayed like this forever.

  But then her instincts and long trained self-defense mechanism set in. Her eyes snapped open and she pushed herself away from Shinji. His dreamy look changed to a very surprised one as she slapped him, jumped back into her room and slammed the door shut.

  She immediately regretted her actions. Her self-defence was still running on full power and had shut down all of her higher brain functions. Every system in her brain seemed to be on overload and flashing big red error signs on her. Ignoring the damn self-defence system, she opened the door again, grabbed a still confused and dumb – but kind of cute – looking Shinji by his shirt and pressed her lips on his.

  Or at least she tried. The force of her grabbing let Shinji trip forward and where his lips should have softly met hers, his forehead took over that place. And it was not soft at all. Asuka grunted in pain, fell backward and crashed on her back which let out another cry of pain. Sitting on the ground, she touched her lip and winced. Her fingertips were red from her blood. Then she rubbed her back which hurt just as much. At least the flashing and beeping in her brain had stopped.

  Finally, she looked up to Baka-Shinji. He stood in the door frame with his eyes closed and was rubbing his forehead. At this sight, she covered her mouth with her hand and started to giggle.

  ?Ouch,“ he said, opened his eyes and smiled sheepishly. He scratched the back of his head with his other hand. ?Well, at least that kiss was more passionate than our last one.“

  Asuka′s giggle turned into laughter. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed. And she meant real laughing. Not faked or arrogant one. Just pure and real. Such laughter, which made her stomach ache and which brought tears to her eyes. It felt damn good. She felt damn good. Except for the pain in her back. That thought made her laugh even more.

  ?What′s so funny?“ Shinji asked.

  ?You! Me! Us!“ Asuka said in between laughter. ?This whole situation,“ she continued and spread her arms.

  Shinji′s smile faded. ?Asuka, you′re bleeding!“ At the next moment, he kneeled in front of her and examined her lip with a sorrowful look. His face was just inches away from hers. Asuka′s laughter stopped as she got lost in his eyes. Have they always been this blue and deep? Her face burned up. ?This?“, she said and touched her wound. It was still bleeding. ?This is nothing…“ she said, her voice barely a whisper now. Had she said that? She felt as if someone had taken her head and put it beside her body.

  Shinji looked up, his face red. Her heart was drumming in her chest. Had he come a few inches closer or did she move without realizing it? Asuka was about to close her eyes as he suddenly stood up.

  Baka-Shinji! How can he ruin this moment? She wanted to complain loudly but as she looked up, she saw him stretching out a hand. ?Come, let me put some ice on it,“ he said.

  She sighed and shook her head, smiling. Then she took his hand and he helped her up. ?Ow ow ow,“ she winced, as another pain shot in her back.

  ?Are you fine? Can you walk?“ Shinji touched her waist to support her. His touch sent another shiver through her body. ?I just fell on my ass, Shinji. I′m fine.“

  ?Okay,“ he said and pulled his hand back.

  She grabbed it and placed it firmly back to her waist. ?B-but maybe it′s better if you support me a bit. Who knows what danger could lie ahead of us?“

  Shinji answered with a smile and a little bow, ?I will protect you from all harm, my queen.“

  ?God, you′re so sappy!“ Asuka said and punched him playfully on his shoulder. ?But I like that, Baka-Shinji.“ She lowered her head on his shoulder and together they walked to the kitchen where Shinji helped Asuka into a chair.

  ?Let′s see,“ Shinji said, as he stood before the open fridge. Asuka watched him rummaging around in it for a while. ?That will have to do,“ he said finally. He took one of Misato′s beers out of the fridge and wrapped it into a kitchen towel. ?Here. Put that on your lip.“

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  She took the beer-towel-pack with a bemused look and pressed it against her lip. It was very cold but eased the pain a bit. She sighed. ?Better, thanks.“

  Shinji smiled, fetched himself a glass of water and sat down across from her. Asuka smiled back. She didn′t quite know what to say or to do now, so she focused all her attention on the cold beer on her lip.

  They kissed. In fact, he kissed her first! And god, did that felt good! Until Dumb-Asuka ruined everything. She cursed herself and made a mental note to apologize to him later. But old habits were hard to break after all.

  A few weeks earlier the mere thought of him kissing her was just ridiculous. She remembered their first… kiss. It was nice, very nice in fact. So nice, that she got scared and pushed him away again. Yet another thing on her ?I-am-sorry?-list.

  So much had changed in the last few days. If he hadn′t kissed her first, she definitely would have made the first step. Old-Asuka grumbled in the back of her mind; furiously demanding that she should have been the first to kiss him! A much older and darker Asuka would have killed him… But both Old-Asukas could now kiss her ass, New-Asuka decided.

  She looked at him. He stared at the glass and held it in both hands as if afraid it would suddenly go away. His expression was calm and shy but he smiled faintly. She wondered not for the first time what was going on in his head.

  But how should they continue now? They couldn′t go back to the way it was before, could they? Not that she wanted that anyway. Their current situation was much better than the uncertain and angry hell she was living before.

  And why did her back still hurt? ?Have these chairs always been so uncomfortable?“ Asuka said after a while.

  Shinji looked up and shrugged. ?Don′t know,“ he said and slid back and forth. ?But now that you′ve mentioned it…“

  ?Should we move to the couch?“ Asuka stood up slowly. ?I’ll move to the couch. Much softer there.“

  ?Wait, let me help you,“ Shinji said and stood up, too.

  ?It′s okay,“ she said with a smile and dropped onto the couch. She patted the place beside her and looked at Shinji. ?You`re coming?“

  ?Sure,“ he said after a moment. Asuka pulled up her knees to make more room for him as he sat down beside her.

  She watched him. Shinji stared at his opening and closing fists. You could tell from the look on his face that he was probably as nervous as she was. He looked like he was about to say something, so Asuka waited.

  ?Okay,“ he said finally. Then he took a deep breath and looked at her… and started babbling. ?I`m sorry I hurt you it was an accident and I don`t know what came over me to kiss you I think it was the music because it was really nice and I got carried away and-?

  ?Shinji!“ Asuka said. She put the beer can down and took his twitching hands in hers. He exhaled sharply. ?Close your eyes.“

  ?What?“

  ?Close your eyes!“ she said again. As he did, she closed hers and leaned forward.

  ?Should I hold my breath?“ he whispered. His breath tickled her.

  ?Just shut up,“ she whispered back and kissed him. As they lips met, Asuka flinched. ?Ouch! Damn it!“

  ?What?“ Shinji asked. ?Oh, your lip is still bleeding.“

  ?Yeah,“ she said, ?and so is yours now.“ She wiped away a small trickle of blood from his lips.

  ?Maybe we should wait with the kissing, `till your lip isn`t bleeding anymore,“ he said.

  She leaned forward again until her forehead touched his and closed her eyes. ?What a punishment…“

  Shinji chuckled. ?It`s okay. I don`t want to hurt you again and we have all-“ Shinji stopped.

  ?We have all?“ Asuka asked. She opend her eyes again. His were still closed.

  Shinji sighed. ?Ah… nothing.“

  ?It doesn`t sound like ?nothing?.“ She punched him softly on his shoulder. ?Don`t ruin the mood now, Third Child!“

  He opened his eyes. He looked so sad. She could loose herself in those eyes. Eyes which had seen way more than an average teenager at their age should have. She knew what he was about to say, because her eyes and the things that they have seen where the same as his.

  ?Well,“ he continued. ?I wanted to say that we have all time in the world, but…“

  ?But we could die any moment?“

  ?Yes. Aren`t you scared?“

  She kissed him softly. ?Of course I`m scared, baka. But who is going to save the world, if not we?“

  ?True.“

  Silence fell upon them again. After a while, Asuka snuggled closer to Shinji, so that her head rested on his chest.

  ?And you haven′t hurt me, not really.“

  ?Hm?“

  ?I was hurt worse, mentally and physically.“ Without thinking, her hand wandered to her left wrist. That`s when she realized she wasn`t wearing her leather band. Was she wearing it yesterday? When did she stop wearing it?

  Shinji`s hand suddenly rested on hers; thouching her scar. She twichted a bit under his touch.

  ?I`m sorry I couldn`t be there for you at that time. I was running away again…“

  ?It`s okay, Shinji. I… was in a bad place at that time. I think nobody could have helped me back then.“

  She felt his other hand slowly stroking her hair. She felt very sleepy all of a sudden.

  ?I am tired of running,“ he said with a firm voice. ?Because we could die any moment, why not live now?“

  Asuka sat up and looked at him. ?I`m tired of being angry all the time, trying to be the best.“

  ?Which you are,“ grinned Shinij.

  ?Which I am, thank you very much.“ She kissed him briefly.

  He smiled. ?This is all so… unreal and crazy.“ He kissed her. ?But I don`t want it to end, before it even began.“

  Asuka smiled back. ?Me neither, Shinji.“ Then she added with a grin, ?And you better don`t fuck this up, or I`ll kill you!“

  He lowered his head. ?I won`t, my queen!“

  ?Good!“ She snuggled up to him again. His warmth and his heartbeat let her slowly drift off to sleep.

  ?What was the name of the song?“ Shinji said after a while. He was still stroking her hair.

  ?Hm…?“ Asuka said sleepy. ?What song?“

  ?The one you listen to, before I kissed you.“

  ?Ah… That was…“ She yawned. ?In the morning from the band Fields. Like it?“

  ?Very much.“ And then Shinji started humming the melody. As his wonderfull voice sang the refrain, Asuka wanted to burry herself in his chest; she wanted to be even closer to him.

  ?And don`t you ever stop singing for me, Shinji…“ she said. A moment later, she was asleep.